Poetry

The title of one my favorite songs by the group Danity Kane, who have long since dismantled, and also my favorite creative method of writing, brings me joy and pain at times. 

While I am no poet, I did come across this award I received for posting a poem I wrote on a site years ago.  It made me smile, even though I didn't think the poem was that great and they only gave me the award so I would buy their book, which I didn't.  The poem was ironically called Destiny, which is what I truly think writing is for me. 

I also received a poetry book in my gift basket that I won during the University Christmas party last year.  I think I should take a look at it now to get my creative juices flowing. Here's the actual poem...

Destiny

Divine being ordains it

Life sustains it

Everything happens for a reason

A consequence for every action

Shunning it is impossible

Fate is undeniable

To be a victim of circumstance

is to be an enemy of innovation

Invincible necessity

That’s what destiny is

Now forever etched in

the fixed order of things

Yearning for acceptance

The Longest Blog Post Ever Written

Last time I wrote was a few days after I turned 35, I am now 36 and so much has happened in only a year. I've learned and I've grown and I am definitely a better person for it.  The highlight of 2010 had to be my daughter's Super Sweet 16 Masquerade party!  It took many long months planning and lots of dollars spent, but it was all worth it in the end.  My favorite picture of the night...
  In true DIVA fashion, which was coincidentally the song she made her Grand Entrance on!


It started out rocky and I wasn't sure she had a good time, but the note she wrote me as a thank you when it was all over literally made me cry.  More pictures and the event as it went down can be seen here.


Christmas seemed to go by so fast, as I was still tired from the party just merely a week before...

All four of "my" babies!  Its tradition!

...but that didn't stop me from having the best time bringing in 2011!  On the Detroit Princess with my beautiful sissy by my side,

Isn't she lovely?

 We closed down the dance floor (literally).





A long awaited and much anticipated life change happened on March 7, 2011 when I got my first real FULL TIME position with Wayne State University, after having worked there over 13 years.  I never realized how much it meant to me until I finally had it.  The money didn't change, but the benefit package was truly immeasurable.  I was able to go back to school for FREE, get my dental work done and have a real head to toe health assessment, which I so desperately needed.  I came out completely healthy, a surprising feat considering I'm "obese" by everyone else's standard, but it eased my mind about all the diseases I had feared might take over my body, at least for now.


My main goal in 2011 was to move from my grandma's house and I did that on May 16, 2011.  My apartment is so much more beautiful than I ever imagined my house would be.  While its not exactly what I had planned, its just what I needed.  My favorite room has become the one which houses my "comfy corner"  better known as the corner of my living room where the sectional meets the wall between it and the kitchen.  When the kids are in their rooms and its quiet and serene, I turn on my lighted table, light my scented candles and enjoy my time alone, sometimes doing nothing at all...



Summer was fun especially since most of it was spent getting my HOME in order, all commencing with the housewarming party I called "Wanda's Wonderful Welcoming"!

The food was a big HIT!

All the people who meant anything to me were invited and most of them came, including my lifelong friend Kim   whom I had never actually "met" until that day.


My sister made the party the best it could be and it wouldn't have been the same without her influence. From the games we played, to just being there to support me and making sure everyone had a great time... I love you (((((Peachey))))).


My 36th birthday was spent with the greatest supervisor there ever was, her name is Darran, but I call her guardian angel. I've written about her before, but this past year showed me just how truly blessed I am to have her in my life.  We went to a local place, halfway between the office and my home called Traffic Jam or as us locals call it TJ's! It's been featured on Food Network's "Diner's Drive Ins and Dives"  and they have the absolute best sweet potato fries that not even I can replicate.  We had a good time laughing about nothing much in particular.  I love her just as I would any member of my family and I'm glad I got to spend my special day with her.


My first Thanksgiving in my new home, and I decided at the last minute to cook what I originally thought would be a small dinner. I made mini potato gratins, roast with potatoes and carrots, macaroni and cheese, greens, baked sweet potatoes, corn, turkey breast, stuffing, and some cranberry sauce (with my own little orange touch) on the side! Dessert was a homemade apple pie, decorated with butterfly cutouts.  It tasted much better than it looked. 

Yeah that's MY pretty plate

After I got the meats started in the slow cookers, Rajanee and I went to Thanksgiving Day parade, which is right around the corner from our house now.  She had never been and I hadn't gone since I was a kid.  It was a very nice day and we both enjoyed it very much.  I did get freaked out by this... 

It looks soooo much creepier from the front

I kept teasing her about the horses which she can't stand and even tagged her in all their pics on Facebook.  She didn't like that too much.


You know that job I mentioned being so happy to get earlier? The one that Darran herself helped me get... Well it almost got taken away from me in a most unfair fashion.  The University had been doing some cutbacks, someone in another department was having their position dissolved and according to union rules, she has the opportunity to "bump into" mine because I have less seniority.  A week of worry and uncertainty of what would happen had my mind in whirl.  I kept thinking about all the things I stood to lose, including a cash credit that I receive for living in Midtown Detroit, which is all dependent on be being a full time employee.  At the ninth hour, one day before the new lady was supposed to start and one half hour before the end of the work day, I got a call from HR saying she wasn't coming.  It was like a weight had been lifted from my entire being.  I even started singing (to myself) "No stress, no stress, no stress, just kicked it to the left, left, left" and all was well again.


Then all the kids grew up around me, my niece turned 14, which we celebrated by going to Michigan's Adventure where I got a sunburn, a sore throat and the greatest time I had in a long time.

Yeah Snoopy was feelin' on my booooty!

Raja, (oh how she hates when I call her that), now 17, is not my little girl anymore, all sophisticated and even has a boyfriend and I'm so not ready.


Look at her NOW...

YES those are 5 inch heels!

Its Christmas again!


The best gift given and received was the bracelets I bought for my sister whose always been there for me through the thickest and the thinnest times in both of our lives.



There were many surprises to be had, some good, some bad, but the funniest moment was when I tricked Raja into thinking she had an android tablet, which was really a Justin Bieber CD wrapped in a tablet box!  I can't get enough of this video...

She actually did get an Ipad 2 from her brother, so it wasn't a total trick, just a little delayed gratification.

Look at that :-)

I had the absolute dullest New Years Eve ever!  I was alone, bored, and didn't even manage to stay up til midnight.  New Years day turned out to be a bit better, it ended with me cooking again, because that's what I do.  My ex lover, best friend, turned lover (again) definitely made me realize that THIS would be a better year.


On December 17, 2011, I became an AVON independent sales representative again.  I love this company so much, the products and the people.  Its been a slow go as I haven't sold to anyone but myself as of yet, but I promised that I would step it up and re-implement some of my old selling strategies to bring in some new as well as regain my old customers.  It will be hard as it is difficult to let someone back in who let you down once before, but I know I can do it. 


After the holidays, my much anticipated and greatly needed vacation was over.  I got some rest, and also made some very productive life changes.  Not even a week after being back at work, my job was threatened again.  This time I didn't come out of it so clean.  It was like a punch to the gut that got twisted along the way.  Loyal I am to my job and my department, so I reached way down deep inside me and mustered up the strength to come in and teach the person taking my job how to do it.  I really don't know how I did it, but I did.  For two weeks I stayed, and for two weeks I prayed, that somehow, some way, a miracle would come. No such luck this time.  I left my job that I didn't even have for one year, uncertain of what the rest would bring.


After work on that last Friday evening, Darran wanted to take me to dinner, so I went. What else did I have to do really?  We went to a little known Chinese/Japanese restaurant, also located in Midtown Detroit, called Shangri-La.  I had no idea what I was about to experience, but once we got there, all of our favorite students were there waiting to give me a night I will not soon forget.  They gave me (and Raja) gifts, along with a huge card that they had all signed.  It truly made me feel special and everything I do totally worthwhile.  It felt so good to be loved and even greater knowing they would miss me in the office. I don't know how Darran kept the secret from me, but I am so glad she did. 


In the back of my mind, I still can't help thinking about all I lost without having my job.  I worked so hard and it feels so good to finally be in my own home, it will be so much harder to handle if I have to let it go.  Being a full time employee had many hidden benefits like being a part of the Live Midtown program which basically pays me to live in the community.  Without this quarterly payment, my rent is significantly higher, which without a steady income is almost impossible for me to pay.  I've been trying not to think about it, hoping it will work itself out, all while making sure I don't lose my mind being that I am a total control freak and can't leave anything to chance. 


A blessing came from a most unlikely source...my MOM!  I kinda didn't want her to know about my situation, but once I told Grandma, it was inevitable.  I had the best day with her than I had in a long time.  We went shopping for a few household things, then she treated me to lunch.  When I got home, I realized she had given me the most beautiful card inside a gorgeous bible cover.  They are now both sitting on my table.


If you're still reading by this time, I'd first like to say Thank You!  One more ray of hope is on my horizon in the form of an interview on Wednesday, February 8, 2012.  I don't know if I will consider the position, but I feel like I at least owe it to myself to take the meeting.  Please say a prayer for me that if nothing else, I don't make a complete fool of myself with whatever questions they may ask me. 


My Goals for 2012 are...


Get my license and buy a car


Entertain more


Get my finances in order


Buy a new wardrobe, including shoes


Take at least one real vacation and not think about anything but relaxation


Pick a graduate program and stick to it


Try at least two new recipes every month


Make some money selling AVON


Get my "baby" back


Prove to myself that not everything has to be planned


Let go and let God is a phrase that was very hard for me to come to terms with, I did and then lost it again.  I'm fighting very hard (with myself) to get it back.

What a Week!

I am tired to say the least, but most of it was good.


Monday...


I got my hair done (just in time for my birthday) by my wonderful sister who loves me more than any biological sister could. It is still looking fabulous today, but this is what it looked like when she first did it, and we got to spend the whole day together!

Tuesday...

Happy Birthday to ME!

From my facebook messages and texts, to all the wonderful gifts/cards I received, I felt the most loved. 

I got to spend the day with my sister again, not doing too much at first. Then after she picked up all the kids from school we went to the movies. The girls saw Devil (make link) and my sis and I saw Legend of the Gaurdians (make link) with my nephew and our other friend. The movie was very cute, like an action movie, but with owls. I would recommend it.


We got back to "Mom's" apartment and to my surprise, she had cooked dinner for me and thanks to my sis for keeping the secret, these were also waiting for me...

Everything was so good, and this is where the cupcakes ended up!

They really love me huh?


Wednesday...


Back to work, where I got another surprise from the people I didn't even know knew it was my birthday. One lady made me a pumpkin cheesecake, it tasted ok, but the gesture was lovely. They tricked me into coming into a meeting that I wasn't originally invited to and sang Happy Birthday! I also got another gift and more cards from my supervisor and a couple of the students.

All of the staff signed it awwwww!

How happy I am wearing the sweater given to me by the bestest supervisor ever! I love you Darran!

Afterwards, I made my sister smile by giving her a much needed gesture and token of love from me. It felt good. Then, it was off to Rajanee's audition for Mosaic, for which she chose to sing and not act. This was a surprise to me, but I trusted her judgement and also because I know she really can sing. The audition went well and even she said she was proud of herself and even if she doesn't make it, she got a huge confidence boost just by doing it!


Thursday...


It was an awesome day for the mostpart. I left work early to go to my doctor's appointment, which I had been dreading all week. It turned out to be better than I could've imagined. The nurse said she was so proud of me for keeping up with my health, not smoking or drinking and my blood pressure was normal. Then I had the most attentive and nice midwife ever since I had been going to this clinic. She made me feel comfortable and the exam went off without a hitch. I was out of there in no time! But the best news I got was that since I had always had normal exams and I have no family history of breast cancer, I don't have to get a mammogram until I'm 50! Oh happy day, until...


Enter Evil Teenager!


I met her at school, which I don't normally do because I'm on the other side of the street where her school is. But, since my doctor is closer to her school, I decided to wait for her until she gets out (which she knew already because I had told her earlier that morning). Anyway, she gets all upset saying that I'm embarrasing her etc. And doesn't want to go to the McDonald's near her school, but quickly changes her mind because I know she's hungry. But, I told her she doesn't have to worry about me coming home with her anymore and she can go alone! So we get home, and I'm totally tired from earlier in the week, everything is fine, for a while, until she gets the gawl to yell at me number one, and over something as stupid as what clothes she has clean! I told her to get away from me and don't talk to me at all until she was ready to apologize. So, she stayed in the kitchen almost all night, until my grandma made her get out (but I'm still not talking to her).


Friday...


Evil teenager is trying to be nice, but I ignore her, because she still hasn't apologized. I go to work, have a quiet and productive day, sold my G1 finally, my friend Anita treated me to lunch since I didn't get to see her on my birthday. We went to Good Girls Go to Paris Crepes where I had the "Sarah" (chevre, red pepper, spinach, and mushrooms, topped with balsamic vinegar). I stuck to my guns and made Raja come home by herself, although she wasn't actually alone, but with her friend, so I didn't feel as bad, although I shouldn't :-). 
I went to pick up my prescription and found out it was cheaper than I originally thought, so that was good. Got home before Raja and wondered if she would still be in a bad mood, but didn't care too much. When she got home, I asked her if she was ready to apologize, to which she said yes and did. I asked why and she said for yelling and for disrespecting me. I accepted, although I kinda think she may have done it just so I wouldn't cancel her sweet 16 party.


Good day returned:


She made the Main Stage Ensemble at Mosaic! All my ill feelings went away and I was sooooo happy! Now comes the hard work, rehearsals, performances, and all while keeping her grades up. But, I know she can do it!


Saturday...


Nothing too special, I did manage to get some rest, I cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, while Raja did the food inventory of the fridge and freezer. We had an awesome breakfast, cooked in my new Xpress Redi Set GO cooker. I'll make a separate post about how much I love it later. We also had a nice dinner, after a trip to family dollar in which I forgot two of the things I needed most lol. We watched some movies, then went to sleep.


Today is the first meeting of the Mosaic team, then we're off to have dinner at Ci Ci's with the fam.

Sleep Tight, Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite...

Its just a saying right? WRONG! These things are really real and on the rise. I recently encountered them in my living space and am on the war path in order to get rid of them. I originally thought I might have them when I woke up one morning with this on my arm..

They are kind of hard to see, but it is six little red bumps in rows of three (the classic feeding style of the bed bug). This was after a night that I had gotten under all my covers for the first time since summer ended. At first I freaked out because the thought of having any bug that close to me is not a good feeling. Then, after talking to my friends and family I calmed down a bit because I was thinking maybe I had gotten bitten at work that Friday before, the bites showed up on a Saturday, and since I work at a University that recently had a bed bug problem in one of its apartment complexes. So, a couple days went by, no bites, then I got another one on the other arm in almost the exact same spot, but this time only one. Ok, now I am almost certain that I do have the little critters living with me, so my freaky panic is back. 

I went online and read everything I could about the bugs, where they hide, breeding methods etc. and all the while trying to figure out where I could've gotten them from. I still haven't figured it out yet, but I know they have got to go! So, after convincing myself that I have them, even though having not seen any evidence (yet) other than the bite marks, I decided that I would just strip my bed and vacuum every inch of the room. This was going to be done on a weekend, since I didn't have to work the next day, so I tried to get some sleep, which has been really, really hard lately. I woke up Friday night around midnight to find one of the little suckers crawling up the sheet! I freaked, hit it with a piece of paper, but it didn't die, so I had to get a piece of tissue and grab it.  The picture below is exactly what it looked like. 

Adult bed bug feeding on a human. (M. Potter, Univ. of Kentucky)

Afterward, I had to go in the bathroom and calm down, prayed, and prayed some more. My sister tried to calm me down after I texted her, but it only worked for a short while.  I tried to go back to sleep, and finally did around 4:30, but didn't get much rest. I got up the next morning and stripped everything off the bed, carefully looking for any signs of bed bug life. I luckily didn't find any, but trust me when I say that does not mean they weren't there. I took all the sheets, comforter, blankets, stuffed pillows, and animals and put them in plastic bags then took the bags outside. I vacuumed every inch of the mattress and surrounding areas before spraying it down with alcohol (someone told me this kills any live bugs), then put on brand new sheets and a blanket that wasn't even in the same room I was bitten.  I also cleaned all the filters in the vacuum, then put them and the entire vacuum outside too.  This seemed to ease my mind for a little while, that is until I saw the spots on the newly put down comforter.

Mine were only about 1/8 of this size and amount, but I knew then that they were not gone and even though I hadn't been bitten again (yet) it was only a matter of time, so I immediately ordered some Food Grade Diatomaceous Earth and these Mattress Covers.  I put the DE all over my room yesterday (good thing its not toxic), and just waiting to see if it kills any of them, then I have to vacuum it up, change the bed (again) and repeat the vacuuming process, encase the mattress and boxspring, then put down more DE. I am praying this eliminates my problem, as it wasn't big to begin with, or so I hope. 

A prayer for plans

This is an exerpt from my "One minute prayers for Women" given to me by my friend Tracey, author of Back Away from the Plate. This particular entry felt like it was speaking to only me from the moment I began reading it.  It comes from the section entitled Plans...

Off Track

There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD.

PROVERBS 21:30

I have a planner overflowing with...well, plans, of course. Each day's box lays claim to a portion of my life.   I know that each time I set a commitment down in blue ink, I am also claiming a portion of the time You have planned for me.  I imagine I am steering things in the wrong direction more times than not.  I take great comfort in knowing You are able to guide my random efforts back to Your intention for my life.

As I make plans for the days ahead, may I seek Your guidance, Your priorities, and Your will.  When I follow Your direction, the meaning of each day is magnified.  The possibilities to serve You become clear.

After reading this, my sight was never clearer and I came to the realization that NO plan I make will ever come to be if I don't sit still and listen to the Lord and HIS plan for me. 

10 things I look forward to when I move...

1. Privacy

2. Decorating my themed rooms

3. Having guests over

4. CLOSETS!

5. Matching towels

6. Direct TV

7. Having room to install my surround sound and a bigger TV

8. A shower

9. Matching tableware

10. Having my OWN!

Its just not gonna happen

The last moment of the month was a moment I realized this year isn't even remotely like I had planned. However, I don't see it as a bad thing. It just gives me more motivation to make next year bigger AND better!