Red Band Society

A simple little show that turned out to be so much more than I thought it would be. Kids are just kids no matter where they may be, how their relationships evolve or whose spoons them. I took a special liking to the most unlikely character, Emma who was hospitalized for anorexia. Her relationship with her mother reminded me of my and Raja's and while she doesn't have an illness, our communication has changed and this show has made me realize more than ever how badly I need to fix it.

Prayer Changes

I've written a prayer for plans before and some of them actually came into fruition. Right now I don't know what my future holds. I cry and I pray, I cry then pray some more. I feel like everything is crashing around me, I've felt this before, how I got though it I really don't know. I'm not even sure I actually did. My daughter needs me and she won't admit it, but even if she did, I'm not sure I could help. There's a new feeling, I must really be in a terrible place. Praying some more...

Today...

I was emotional about almost everything. I didn't even get out of my pajamas and I, yes I baked! I made chocolate cherry cake and peanut butter muffins from scratch. I even ate real bacon in all its porky good and badness. Then I watched this movie... Mom's night out. It was good and unexpectedly inspiring. It's been forever since I've written anything, here or otherwise. How many times did I promise to rectify that? I even started three other posts recently that I've yet to finish. Well this is my attempt at doing it once and for all. Be it a story, a thought or even at times just a word, I'm writing it. I want to make my life have meaning even if only to myself. I have friends that I hardly ever see, and I miss them all terribly. I miss my daughter and my bdwpbff (you know who you are) too. I have so many thoughts, ideas and plans in my head, just dying to come out. Everything will be revealed in time. Stay tuned...

Things 2013 taught me

I know the year isn't over, but I felt like writing and this is what I came up with. 

A random list of what I have learned in 2013 (so far):

I am my brother's keeper

Social media has made it way too convenient for those with the most offensive, racist and insensitive views to "share" them with the world

The key to crispy sweet potato fries is cornstarch (eventhough this didn't work for me)

Baking isn't so hard

My mom really loves me

How did I ever live without Pinterest

You can make anything into a quesadilla

I do not know some people as well as I thought I did

I have a pretty boring life

Writing IS my calling and I am determined to make it so

I cannot do anything without music

I am ME just the way I am and I am all I need to be ME

Animation is cool

My daughter actually listens to me and values what I say, think and feel

I have friends in high places

You may not always get what you want, but you'll always have exactly what you need

Inspiration can sometimes come from the most unlikely places

I have super (cleaning) powers

A best friend isn't really that if they don't consider you to be the same

The days I try least are the days I do best

I can go through every possible emotion in one day and come out fine

To be continued...

There is no substitute for a face-to-face conversation

2014 has to be better

No matter how much money I have, it never seems to be enough for what I need

I will always be misunderstood

Grammar "Rules"

Ok, these things have really irritated me for some time now...

Yaaaay is not the same as Yeaaaah!

To and too are TWO different words.

There, their, and they're are not interchangeable, same goes for where, were, and wear.

It is she and I NOT me and her.

Weather describes how hot it was yesterday, Whether is a conjunction.

An idiom is not the male version of idiot! Although, most women might disagree.

An Effect is the cause of how a love lost Affects you!

Then and Than only differ by one letter, but I promise they are NOT the same word.

You're getting on my nerves with Your incorrect usage of the English language.

You can have GOOD friends, but you must speak WELL.

That is all for now...

Giving Up

A while back I posted a status on facebook that said ” I give up”. I didn't explain it at the time, but there are a lot of things in my life right now that I have been desperately trying to accomplish, with no luck.

In my past experience, when I give up on something it usually comes to fruition. So, here is a list of the things I was referring to in the previous status...


Attemping to make AVON a real business

Getting a pet

Having a successful relationship with my best friend, whom I'm not so sure even wants to be that anymore

Growing my hair out

Getting my master's degree (although I didnt try too hard on this one)

Having a career and not just a job

Decorating my home as I envisioned it

Taking a REAL vacation

And so many others that are floating around in my head...

What a (this) Girl Wants

This post is dedicated to my best friend, the love of my life, who will always be even if we never find our way back to each other in that way again.

I want to be the last thought on your mind before you go to sleep and the first thought when you awake.

I want to go on a date with no distractions, just the joy of you and I being with each other.

I want to cuddle on the couch and watch friends, while you comb my hair the way only you can.

I want to watch you cook dinner because you in the kitchen is Sexy.

I want to know that I'm the only one you'll call baby.

All those sexy things you know I love, the unspoken thoughts that you can read right through, yeah those, bring them back (and a few more too).

I want to send shivers down your spine with just the sound of my voice.

The little texts or notes to let me know you're thinking about me and want me to have a great day are missed.

I want to hear you say "I Love You" even though I already know its true. 

I want to take a trip somewhere neither of us has ever been.

I want to be kissed in the sweetest way, just to say, have a good day. 

I want to be missed.

I want to sing to you and have you hanging on every word.

I want a "Love Like Denim"

I want to hold your hand though the walk we call life. 

Our love should be what others aspire to have.

To infinity and beyond...

In short... I want to be ADORED!

With love comes pain, with pain, come pleasure.  Pleasure me and I'll pleasure you, just the way you want me to. The journey has been long and the road has been winding, but our path is right where its supposed to be and whatever becomes of it, I will not stray.  This is not the end...